"One of the more insidious attacks against women who oppose pornography accuses them of being prudish and uncomfortable with their own sexuality, "insecure," and "jealous." Terrified of being labeled "anti-sex," "humorless," or "feminists," many women have neglected to stand up to pornography. Yet to be opposed to porn in no way means a person is opposed to sexuality in all of its healthy and positive forms. Women who are the most secure and confident, who have the temerity to stand up to such fallacious claims, are surely stronger than the women held in sway by the pornified culture's myths. Moreover, the idea that a woman can't "own" or "explore" her own sexuality without incorporating pornography into her life (as "sex positive" pro-porn feminists would have it) is insulting, and an extraordinarily narrow and limiting view of sexuality."
Pamela Paul, "Pornified: How Pornography Is Damaging Our Lives, Our Families and Our Relationships"
Petra Bueskens - Anti-Porn Author, Scholar & Psychotherapist
Petra Bueskens is an Australian psychotherapist, scholar, author and founder of PPMD Therapy. Petra has written several very well-researched and powerful articles about the harms of pornography to women. Please see below for links to these articles, which which are republished on our website with the author's permission.
A largely untold story in the ongoing debate about pornography is the fact that a growing number of women are very distressed by their partner's porn use. A number of persistent themes are emerging in research, on internet support sites (for women), in therapists' offices, in the accounts of divorce lawyers, and anecdotally. This paints a clear picture of women's distress, and provides an additional argument for the harms of pornography. ...
One of the most counter-intuitive findings of this research is that heavy porn consumption tends to diminish a couple's sex life – principally by shifting men's sexual focus away from their partners, and into a fantasy world of endless erotic possibilities. Many partners are consequently left feeling sexually and emotionally abandoned and devalued. ...
Another key finding is that pornography consumption is much more problematic in long-term committed relationships than in casual ones. For example, survey research conducted by Bridges, Bergner, and Hesson-McInnis (2003) found married women to be significantly more distressed by a partner's online pornography consumption than women in dating relationships. Moreover, the distress increased according to the perceived frequency of use. This research, notes Manning, "is significant because it supports the assertion that married women generally are distressed by their husbands' use of sexually explicit materialand that this may threaten the stability of the marital bond."
In other words, casual use in casual relationships is the least problematic for women, on the proviso that this use is not concealed. However, heavy use, especially heavy secretive use in a committed relationship, can wreak havoc, and not uncommonly results in separation and divorce. Fundamentally, women experience their partner's secret porn use as infidelity. As one woman in a recent study by Zitzman and Butler (2009) put it, it's "like he's had a million affairs".
Ellwood-Clayton draws attention to the pornographic wallpaper adorning our lives and asks if this doesn't have something to do with women's low libido. She connects women's increasingly documented sense of physical inadequacy, exemplified by our huge and ever growing expenditure on beauty products and cosmetic surgery, as well as the relentless pursuit of diet and exercise, with our declining desires. Hers is a far more insightful and radical analysis.
The real clincher, notes Ellwood-Clayton, is the disconnect between our minds and our bodies – we have come to perceive our bodies not as we feel and experience them, not as living breathing entities capable of menstruating with the moon and bringing forth new life (and here we see her anthropological bent), but through the filter of porn culture and advertising. For Ellwood-Clayton, women see their bodies through "the social gaze" and police themselves accordingly.
The loss of libido is therefore not about women's lack of sexual capacity or response, it's not even about the so-called monotony of monogamy, it's about the painful sense of not measuring up. This path is a convoluted one that relates to heterosexual women's desire to be desired. "Sex is far better for women", notes Ellwood-Clayton, "when they feel sexy". "Herein lies the rub: modern-day women rarely feel sexy. Far too much stands in the way."
"Men who watch a lot of porn seem to focus more intensely on the visual, even when in bed with a woman, asking her to emulate the look and moves of porn stars. Women have distorted body images and feel the need to remodel their appearances – no matter how they personally feel about pornography. Though pressured to accept pornography as a sign of being sexy and hip, many women admit that in practice, their boyfriend’s porn hurts."
Pamela Paul, "From Pornography to Porno to Porn: How Porn Became the Norm," a paper for the conference "The Social Costs of Pornography."
The following are all studies and reports on the harms of pornography on women. To read specifics about each report and for links to all of the full reports, please visit the page about the harm of pornography on women at the excellent website Pornography Harms. Click here.
Aggression and Sexual Behavior in Best-Selling Pornography: A Content Analysis Update
Pornography: A Sociobiological Attempt at Understanding
Group Complains About Nude Photos at U of L
Pornography Addiction Affects Marriages
Porn -- Watching Bruised, Drugged Prostitutes
Porn Addiction Destroys Relationships, Lives
Sex Addicts Getting Help, Understanding
An Internet Study of Cybersex Participants
New Website to Examine Harms of Pornography ‘Pandemic’
From Pornography to Porno to Porn: How Porn Became the Norm
Pornography's Effects on Interpersonal Relationships
Freedom, Virtue, and the Politics of Regulating Pornography
The Impact of Pornography on Women: Social Science Findings and Clinical Observations
Social Costs of Pornography
Help for Women: His Pornography Addiction is Not Your Fault
The Abuse of Sex
Hooked on Porn
Focusing on the Clients of Street Prostitutes: A Creative Approach to Reducing Violence Against Women – Summary Report
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To view all of the above reports, as well as any other ones on this topic that may have recently been added, please visit the page at Pornography Harms about pornography's harm on women. Click here. To learn more about other documented harms of pornography, please visit Pornography Harms at PornHarms.com.
"Dedicated to providing the most accurate peer-reviewed research on the harm from pornography, along with relevant news and opinion."
This outstanding website comprehensively addresses the harms of pornography in regards to all of the following categories: addiction, brain science, children, cybersex, family, Internet, Internet safety, marriage, men, psychological, prostitution, relationships, research, self image, sex trafficking, sexting, sexual violence, societal, STDs, teens, and women
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"In recent years, women’s magazines have regularly featured a discussion of pornography from a new perspective: how women can introduce it into their own lives. While many women continue to have mixed or negative feelings towards pornography, they are told to be realistic, to be “open-minded.” Porn, they are told, is sexy, and if you want to be a sexually attractive and forward-thinking woman, you’ve got to catch on. Today, the pornography industry has convinced women that wearing a thong is a form of emancipation, learning to pole dance means embracing your sexuality and taking your boyfriend for a lap dance is what every sexy and supportive girlfriend should do."
Pamela Paul, "From Pornography to Porno to Porn: How Porn Became the Norm," a paper for the conference "The Social Costs of Pornography."
"Pornography is everywhere, and as it becomes more common in all forms of media, it is also becoming more sexist, violent, and graphic. These forms of pornography are also becoming more and more common among children and teens. Why we should worry about pornified America."
"Imagine if women were to speak out about their discomfort and dislike of pornography, about how their partners become distant, disconnected, and lonely, rather than pretend to be game and go along. Imagine if women who pursued pornography themselves because it was deemed hip and sexy and fun decided instead that it was hipper and sexier and more fun to actually have sex with another live, completely engaged individual."
Pamela Paul, "Pornified: How Pornography Is Damaging Our Lives, Our Families and Our Relationships"
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DESCRIPTION
Pornland: How Porn Has Hijacked Our Sexualitytakes an unflinching look at today’s porn industry: the stories woven into the images, the impact on our culture, the effects on us as men and women, the business machine that creates and markets porn, and the growing legitimacy of porn in mainstream media. Above all, PORNLAND examines the way porn shapes and limits sexual imaginations and behaviors.
Although we are surrounded by pornographic images, many people are not aware of just how cruel and violent the industry is today. PORNLANDshows how today’s porn is strikingly different from yesterday’s Playboy and Penthouse magazines — how competition in the industry and consumer desensitization have pushed porn toward hard core extremes. And, with the advent of the internet and other digital technologies, users don’t have to wander far to access porn; todaythe average age of first viewing is about 11 for boys, and studies reveal that young men, who consume more porn than ever before, have difficulty forming healthy relationships.
PORNLAND also looks at how our porn culture affects the way women and girls think about their bodies, their sexuality and their relationships. PORNLAND: How Porn has Hijacked our Sexuality argues that rather than sexually liberating or empowering us, porn offers us a plasticized, formulaic, generic version of sex that is boring, lacking in creativity and disconnected from emotion and intimacy.
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For more information about the documented harms of pornography please visit the extremely informative websitePornography Harms at PornHarms.com.
"Dedicated to providing the most accurate peer-reviewed research on the harm from pornography, along with relevant news and opinion."
This outstanding website comprehensively addresses the harms of pornography in regards to all of the following categories: addiction, brain science, children, cybersex, family, Internet, Internet safety, marriage, men, psychological, prostitution, relationships, research, self image, sex trafficking, sexting, sexual violence, societal, STDs, teens, and women.
Have you taken the NO-PORN PLEDGE at NoPornPledge.com yet? If not, now would be a really great time to do so! Please click here or the banner below.
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See the list of many people from all around the world who have signed the No-Porn Pledge. Click here.
Read the reasons why they have signed in the No-PornPledge Guestbook. Click here. Don't forget to join them by signing the pledge and sharing your reasons why in the guestbook there as well!
From NoPornPledge.com:
"Join a growing number of people who have made a decision to eliminate porn from their lives. Sign your name, and publicly declare that you won't use porn, or have an intimate relationship with anyone who does."
At AntiPornography.orgwe are working to prevent and combat the devastating harms of pornography, prostitution, sex trafficking and sexual slavery, as well as all other forms of sexual exploitation, through public education and advocacy. We are:
Pro-Education, Pro Safe, Healthy, Respectful, Equality-Based Sexuality
Pro-reasonable regulation of the pornography industry for the health and safety of the performers.
*Please see FAQ for more information on all of the above. Thank you!
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RESOURCES, FRIENDS, SUPPORTERS AND ALLIES:
NOTE: All those marked with * are friends, subscribers or followers of AntiPornography.org at Facebook, YouTube, Twitter, or one of our other social networking websites, or have demonstrated support for our work otherwise, such as providing content for this website or linking to us or to one of our blogs and/or social networking projects. Also please note that the below list is a work in progress and that it is not complete. Please share any errors, omissions or suggestions here. Thank you!
WOMEN AND GIRLS FOCUSED RESOURCES:
(For family, children, men and addiction focused resources, please scroll down.)
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ANTI-PORNOGRAPHY ORGANIZATIONS GROUPS AND WEBSITES:
Saavi Accountability -- The only online accountability program that works with all online addictions. It is also the only program that sends notifications instantly via text message to an accountability partner so that they can be supportive when an individual needs it the most at the point of weakness, while they are accessing the online content. The software was created by a young man (26) who overcame his addiction and is trying to help others.
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ADDICTION MESSAGE BOARDS & DISCUSSION FORUMS FOR HELP & SUPPORT:
NOTE: There are MANY anti-porn and porn addiciton discussion groups and pages at Facebook.
Just search GROUPS and PAGES for "porn addiction", "pornography addiction", "sex addiction", "anti-porn," "antiporn," "anti-pornography" & "antipornography"
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For more than 50 personal stories documenting the harms of compulsive and/or excessive pornography use and/or pornography addiction please see our "Porn Harm Stories" page. Thank you.
(Note: The No Porn Northampton FAQ is in the bottom half of their sidebar. In addition to the usual questions about pornography it addresses questions and concerns about activism against sexually oriented businesses such as "adult bookstores.")
Shared Hope International specifically focuses on fighting the demand for commercial sexual exploitaiton, including addressing pornography as a very significant demand factor for sex trafficking.
"Pornography is a marketing device for sex trafficking: It normalizes degradation and violence as acceptable and even inevitable parts of sex, and uses the bodies of real women and children as objects. The difference between pornography and erotica is clear in the roots of the words themselves -- porne means females slaves, eros means love -- so pornography, like rape, is about violence and domination, not sex. Millions of lives depend on our ability to separate pornography from erotica, and to disentangle violence from sexuality."
Gloria Steinem, 2006
For information about Gloria Steinem's important work of fighting against the harms of pornography, sex trafficking and other forms of sexual exploitation and abuse, including videos and an audio interview, please see our page on Gloria Steinem. Click here.
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For more information on how pornography fuels prostitution and sex trafficking, please see our page on Pornography and Trafficking. Click here. Thank you!
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Please remember that it is not up to AntiPornography.org, the other organizations listed on this page, the government, or "someone else" to do the entire job of fighting against the devastating harms of pornography, prostitution, trafficking, and other forms of sexual exploitation or abuse. It is an enormous job and the responsibility lies with each and every one of us to do our part as part of the bigger team of those who are choosing to be part of the solution of creating a more just and humane world for everyone, rather than be part of the problem.
So thank you in advance for whatever you are able to contribute to the cause, whether in the form of a tax-deductible donation or your actions. What you do does matter, so for the sake of all those across the world who are being exploited and abused, and for the sake of the future of humanity, please do what you can to create a more compassionate and safer society for all.
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