(No affiliation with Fight the New Drug or any organization other than AntiPornography.org)
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Hi everyone! My name is Vanessa. I spent seven years in the sex industry from the age of 18 to 25, and decided to leave in March 2013 because of how harmful it was to me and others.
You can read my story, my position statement, and my other writing about the harms of the sex trade and sexual violence below. You can also check out my Personal FAQ for some quick answers to some basic questions about me, my life and my time in the sex industry.
If you would like to support this dedicated organization and this critically important cause, please feel free to make a tax-deductible donation below, (with a note specifying what the donation is for), or contact us about viable funding sources here. Thanks!
Interview with Lana Reid on her show on TalkZone.com, "Don't Box Me In"
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Check out my appearance in the anti-porn UK documentary "Date My Porn Star!" I don't "date" any porn fans, (some current porn performers do), but I DO share the harsh truth about my experiences in porn with them!
"Date My Porn Star" has three porn fans meeting their favorite current porn stars, (not me!), but while watching porn being filmed, they see the harsh reality of how abusive it is and how messed up the young women are, and they become disillusioned with porn. Then I meet with them and share my story with them to help them understand even more about how porn and the sex industry harms, even after someone has left the industry. The documentary debuted on Channel 4 on October 21, 2013.
WARNING: Graphic content in the documentary!
Here is the Channel 4 press release on the documentary:
POSITION STATEMENT FOR EX-PORN PERFORMER VANESSA BELMOND:
Against the harms of pornography and prostitution, but not against people in the sex industry.
Anti-banning of porn, but in favor of reasonable regulation of porn to protect children and to protect the health and safety of people in the industry. (I.e. Mandatory condom use as per Measure B and AB 332.)
Anti-legalization of prostitution, but not in favor of prostituted people being criminalized, arrested or incarcerated. (The "Nordic Model" or "Swedish Model.")
In favor of holding johns accountable and educating them about how prostitution harms people. (I.e. with "John Schools.")
In favor of providing help, exit, and transition services for those in the sex industry who want them.
Anti-violence and anti-censorship. Pro-peace, pro-free speech, and pro-First Amendment rights.
In favor of safe, loving, healthy, non-violent, respectful sex and relationships.
Please see my story and all of my articles below for further details on these positions. Also please see AntiPornography.org's FAQ. Thanks!
I used to be in the "adult entertainment" industry. I did over 50 porn scenes, danced at strip clubs, and dabbled in "escorting" -- AKA prostitution. As someone working in the sex industry, I heard from countless young girls asking me how to get in the business and how to be "successful" in porn. Now that I am finally out of this business and seeing it for what it is, I ask why? Why do so many girls these days aspire to have sex on camera, or dance naked in the laps of strange men? What happened?
One only has to look back to the 90's and 80's to see how things have changed (and not for the better). Back then, women (and most men, for that matter), got into porn out of desperation. The majority of people in the sex industry fell into the business and did it secretly, hoping that they could just make some quick money and get out. Now, girls actually look at adult entertainment as a viable career option.
This is dangerous and incredibly misguided. Young women should be aspiring to something real, something that will take them somewhere in life. Porn is often nothing but a dead end.
Rape has become so common in our society that to many people it's now just another story on the news -- another headline. It happens so often to both women and men that many people have become desensitized to the pain it causes. It's not that they don't care, they just don't put much thought into it. They think something along the lines of, "Oh, that's sad," and then change the channel or click on a different news story.
There needs to be more in-depth personal stories shared publicly by both male and female rape victims. (Not just short news blurbs.) This is the primary reason that I have decided to talk about my personal experience with rape. It's not easy for me because one of the things that I hate the most is being portrayed as a victim.
So, to be clear, I am a survivor and this event doesn't define me or my life. It could have been much worse, and compared to many people that have been raped, my story is quite tame. But it's still a story that needs to be told for many reasons. One of them is that I'm tired of (unintentionally) protecting this man, tired of pretending like nothing happened. I'm tired of acting like it wasn't a big deal, because it was a big deal -- just like anyone being raped is always a big deal.
A lot of people knew my fiancé only as "Sledge Hammer," the porn actor who had performed in more than 800 porn scenes, or they knew him just as "Sledge." These people only knew what they saw in porn -- a tall, muscular, light-skinned black man with a larger than average appendage. Marland was often portrayed as the "big black man" who had sex with mostly white and Latina women, "stretching out" their various orifices. But I knew "Sledge Hammer" for the man he really was -- Marland Anderson.
I was in a relationship with Marland for about four years, and I lived with him for just over a year. I knew the real man, the man that struggled with his career path that he fell into by chance. The man who had great respect for women, yet worked in a business that often degrades, humiliates, abuses and exploits them. The man that loved action figures, comic books and movies. The man that was soft-spoken, gentle, kind, and extremely patient. This is the story of the real man behind the "Sledge Hammer" character, and the story of my relationship with him.
"Beautiful." "Artistic." "Different." "Sensual." These sound like descriptions of a painting in a fine art gallery, or maybe of a gourmet dish, right? Unfortunately not. These are samples of adjectives that I've heard used over the years to describe "lesbian porn," from viewers of the genre. These "fans" love to claim that female-only porn is better than the "boy-girl" variety, because they believe that it's easier on the women involved, and that it's less disrespectful. And hey, it's just two women enjoying each other, what could be more innocent and harmless?
Clearly these "fans" have never been behind the scenes of your average girl-girl porn set. "Catty," "fake," "pimp," and "ouch!" These are the words that spring to MY mind when I think of "lesbian" porn. Why, you might ask? A fair question. Allow me to explain, word by word.
1) CATTY: The unfortunate truth is that many women in the porn industry are very catty and rude towards any other woman that they have to work with. This is also true in regards to strip clubs, but it's much worse when you have to have sex with someone that can't even be civil towards you.
I have often been on set when two other woman are "working" together, and have witnessed them fighting or ignoring each other completely until the camera is turned on. It's amazing how the word "action" and the red blinking light of a camera can turn two women that hate each other into "sexy girlfriends having fun."
Personally I grew to hate doing porn scenes with women even more than doing scenes with men, because it often meant that I would be having sex with someone that didn't have any interest in me whatsoever, and didn't even bother to pretend to. In turn I became pretty catty myself. After all, if these girls were going to be rude to me the second I walked on set, well I was going to be rude right back. Was that an acceptable excuse to behave like that? Of course not. But I certainly had plenty of company.
Many women start out in porn having sweet bubbly personalities, but after a few months of getting put through the brutal "adult industry" meat grinder, they become cold and -- that's right -- CATTY. The sex industry has a tendency to change the attitude, demeanor and behavior of the people working in it, and not in a positive way.
Keep in mind that most women performing in these scenes are simply not into having sex with other women, so this makes the sex unpleasant to say the least. Which brings us to the next word that so accurately describes "lesbian" porn...
One of the most telling things that reveals how much female strippers really don't like their male customers, is how many strippers "turn lesbian." Most "dancers" I knew when I was stripping got so tired of dealing with men every night at the club that they eventually started dating and having sex with other women. This should tell the men that go to these clubs how much the strippers truly "like" them.
I was one of these women for a couple of years. I wasn't a lesbian, but after a few years of stripping I found the idea of going home to a man every night to be nauseating. I had always liked men, more than women even, but working in a strip club night after night for a long period of time completely changed that. It's sad now when I think back on it. I really lost respect for men and no longer trusted them. (Because the ones I met sadly gave me no reason to!)
I couldn't stand any of the men I dealt with at the club -- even the so-called "nice" ones were always trying to push my boundaries or pry into my personal life. As far as I (and just about every other stripper I met) were concerned, all of the male "customers" were constantly annoying and only good for one thing; money.
I was twenty years old and had never had a real relationship before, and I was tired of being single. (I had had plenty of casual sex in my teens, but that was different.) I couldn't imagine being in a relationship with a man because of how much they disgusted me from working at the strip club, so in my mind that left only one option: women. I had had sex with women before; on camera, in threesomes, or to "put on a show" for a man, but I had never considered being in a relationship with one. But working in the sex industry changed almost everything about me, including the gender of people I would consider being in a relationship with.
Life is made up of choices. Making the right choices can lead to great things, and making the wrong choices can lead to devastation. Unfortunately, in my life I have made a series of bad choices. One of the worst choices I ever made was trying meth.
I had just turned seventeen and I was hanging out with an old friend from elementary school, Selena, and her brother Miguel. They lived on a fairly large-sized property with a main house where their parents lived, and a small house where they stayed. Selena invited three other girls over: Vicki, Ally and Courtney. I vaguely knew Vicki and Ally from school, but Courtney I had never met.
At nineteen Courtney was older than we were, and from a "rougher" area. I found Courtney interesting. She seemed so confident and like she had seen it all and done it all. Little did I know that Courtney's "confidence" came from meth. (I also later found out that Courtney was pregnant. She continued to smoke all throughout her pregnancy, and for some reason no one in our little circle was critical of this. Thankfully her baby was born healthy. I sometimes think of her, and hope that she was able to clean up and be there for her child.)
Within minutes of showing up, Courtney pulled out a little bag filled with white crystal-like powder and a small glass pipe. I had already done cocaine, marijuana, prescription pills and some drinking, so I didn't hesitate for a second when she offered everyone a hit. She showed us how to smoke it, and was even gracious enough to light the pipe for me. After that first hit, I was hooked. It's true what those cheesy anti-drug commercials say -- it only takes one hit to get addicted to meth!
I am a recovering porn addict. I am also a 25 year old woman. You might think that someone in my position would be uncommon, but with the pornography-saturated culture that kids are growing up in today, girls and young women becoming porn addicts is a more common phenomenon all the time. So in a few years this will likely (and sadly) not be unusual at all.
With the advent of the Internet, it's easier than ever for kids and teens to access extremely hardcore pornography. All it takes is a click of a mouse. So gone are the days of sneaking an older brother's or father's Playboy magazine. Now kids and teens can see almost any kind of extreme and abusive porn imaginable online for free -- any time they want and pretty much anywhere they want, including the classroom, the schoolyard and on the school bus, via their smart phones, game consoles, and portable DVD players.
My problem with pornography started innocently enough. (Doesn't all addiction start that way?) When I was about eleven years old my friend Alison* and I hung out at the home of two sisters almost every day after school. Their mom and step-dad didn't come home until the evening, and although these sisters weren't allowed to have other kids over at their house without supervision, that never stopped us from going over there.
These parents not only worked late, they also happened to have a huge (and not well-hidden) porn collection. They had magazines, DVDs, and even VHS tapes featuring all kinds of pornography. Being typically curious middle school kids, we watched a lot of it. We giggled through the movies, fast-forwarding and slowing down the sex scenes, and laughed at the silly story-lines. It all seemed like no big deal. It was "just sex," right?
Watching porn wasn't that big of a deal for my friends (although one of them did become somewhat promiscuous in high school), but for me it was very different; it deeply affected me. I thought that the women in those porn movies were so glamorous, that they had everything I didn't. Beauty, money, and major sex appeal. I wanted to be one of those women.
My shift had finally ended and I had about fifteen minutes until my mom picked me up. Time to go shopping at my favorite place -- the grocery store I worked at.
I filled up a basket with all of the junk food that I could afford on my tiny salary. Candy, cookie dough, chips and Diet Coke. I went through the checkout line and the cashier joked about how much I must love junk food. "I could never eat this way without blowing up!", she chuckled. "Oh to be a teenager again..."
What was so great about being a teenager? I was fifteen years old and I hated it. I felt fat, ugly and worthless. These feelings of self-loathing were part of the reason why I bought the food, finished it in one night, and threw it up afterwards.
This was a regular routine for me; a huge portion of the money that I made at all of my jobs as a teen went to my number one addiction -- food. My eating disorder developed at a younger age than my porn addiction did, and it also started before I began using drugs. The challenge of overcoming bulimia was also more difficult than overcoming porn use or quitting drug use.
Are you a woman or teen girl thinking of getting into porn? Maybe you just want to do a few movies to make some money, or you just want to "experiment." Perhaps you feel ignored by men and want to feel sexy and desired. Or maybe you've seen women like Sasha Grey, Tera Patrick or Jenna Jameson, and you want to follow in their footsteps. They seem happy, (most of the time -- at least in public), and they have money, fame, and men all around the world lusting over them. So you might say: "Sure, porn isn't for everyone, but I'm different! I can handle it. I'll use the industry, I won't let it use me. Why not?"
Well, let me tell you "why not." I have been there and done that. I've had many roommates and friends over the years, most of them female porn performers. There are so many misguided ideas that women have about the sex industry, and I want to dispel the myths and show you what being in the sex trade is really like.
Let's start with "I'll just do it for a little while and then quit" -- the myth that young women often tell themselves. This is common with women when they enter into the strip club industry. (Check out my article on the harms of stripping for more details.) Porn is a little different, because unlike stripping, many women actually do just perform in a few scenes and then disappear from the industry after that. (And by the way, if it's so fun, "empowering," and financially rewarding, why would that scenario be so common?) But that still doesn't make doing porn a good idea. Even if you only do one scene, the damage is done. You'll spend the rest of your life hoping that boyfriends, family, friends and co-workers never see that one scene that you did, no matter how much time goes by.
And with the advent of online pornography, chances are that someone will see that scene, and chances are that they'll show it to other people. I knew one young woman that did one or two scenes for a small website. She didn't like it, and decided to continue working at her job in the mall, assuming that since it was a small website, that no one would find out. But guess what? Someone saw it. They could have seen it on the site, or they could have seen it on one of the many illegal download sites that steal scenes from pay sites. Either way, this person who saw it shared the scene with other people, and eventually everyone that she worked with or around knew that she did porn. They never treated her the same way again, and she eventually quit her job because she was so embarrassed.
Now, let me start this by saying that I know men aren't the only ones who watch porn. But this article will be focusing on men, since they are the majority of porn consumers.
I was in the sex industry for eight years and did about 100 scenes in my so-called "adult film" career. I regularly communicated with "fans" through social media, email and occasionally through appearances at strip clubs and "adult entertainment" events. These fans often seemed to believe that I really loved what I did, and that most women in porn were just women with high sex drives that made money off of something they would do anyway. This is so not true!
I am not innocent. Like most porn performers I perpetuated this lie. One of my favorite things to say when asked if I liked doing a particular scene was, "I only do what I like! I wouldn't do it if I didn't like it!" (I would say this with a big fake smile and giggle.) What a total lie! I did what I had to do to get "work" in porn. I did what I knew would help me gain "fame" in the industry.
Sure, technically I had a choice, I could always say no to a scene. But like most porn performers, I couldn't afford to turn down paying work, and I knew that if I said no too many times, my agent would stop calling. That's just a fact.
"Doing porn is empowering for women!" I've heard this statement frequently in support of the porn industry. I understand the sentiment behind this philosophy -- after all, I used to ascribe to it. But now I know better. I'm done lying to myself, and I've had to face some harsh and sobering realities about how my former "career" and behavior damaged me.
This article is going to focus on women, but make no mistake, being a porn performer isn't necessarily good for men either. But right now I am primarily talking to and about women.
The simple truth is this: Being in porn is NOT in any way truly empowering for women. Sure, there are a few performers that do get "empowered" in some ways, but that is about 1-5% of them. And I'm being generous with that number. The truth is, most women have nothing to show for it when the business discards them after a few years. (Or in some cases, a few months!) I've seen it over and over again.
To elaborate and be more specific, I'm now going to address some of the more common myths that I've heard about this topic throughout the years. I used to believe these myths too, until I actually got into porn! These myths concern money, fame, attention, control, sexual liberation, and the supposed glamorous lifestyle of porn, all of which I thought I would obtain in abundance with my work in the sex industry. I thought these things would fulfill me and solve all of my problems. Let's just say that's not exactly how things worked out. Read on to find out why...
I've wanted to address something for quite awhile. It's a lie I hear constantly about the "adult film" business. I couldn't speak out before -- after all, I was a "porn star." I felt like I had to defend the porn industry work no matter what, and make it look good. Letting the "fans" and the public in on this dirty secret would be terrible for business. But now I've broken free from the hold the porn industry had on me, and I'm ready to speak on it.
Disease. Illness. Infection. Yup. The porn industry will tell you over and over again that "porn sex is safe!" They will say that because performers test regularly, (every month or every two weeks, depending on the company or person you're working with), it's under control. Nothing to see here folks, everything's clean and safe!
Nope. Now, when it comes to HIV, no, you probably won't get that. It's most definitely a risk, but to their credit, the porn industry has managed to keep HIV rates within the business low. That, however, does NOT make porn sex safe! Not by a long shot. Want an example? I got chlamydia from my first scene. That's right, my first scene!
WARNING! VERY GRAPHIC SEXUAL AND RACIST IMAGES AND LANGUAGE
There is no other business that promotes racism as overtly and openly as the "adult" film business. I'm not just talking about the obvious racism in porn, such as the racist titles of many porn videos. (I.e. Big Black Sticks, Little White Chicks, Me F*ck You Long Time, etc.). It's the stuff that happens behind the scenes. I'm speaking from the perspective of a half-black, half-white woman who has been there, and as someone who was engaged to a black male porn star.
The first sign that I was heading into a racist industry had to be when I went to meet with my first agent. I brought my roommate at the time, a white woman, for moral support. The agents all fawned over her (even though she made it clear that she would never do porn), and pretty much ignored me. The agent took us next door to a studio, where the director told her, "You are perfect! I want you!", and then looked at me and said, "Would you swallow the cum of 10 guys?" That really should have made it clear to me that I was less valued in this business, but hey, hindsight is 20/20.
A young woman in need of earning money thinks to herself: "OK. So porn is a bad idea. But what about working in a strip club? I could just do it for a few months, make enough to pay for school, or my debts or whatever, and then quit. It's just dancing, no sex. And it's empowering! Men will be giving their money to me for practically nothing!"
Yeah, I've heard this many times before. All of these statements are misguided assumptions that many women make when they decide to strip. I made the same assumptions, and started "dancing" at 18. I thought I was going to make hundreds, if not thousands of dollars a night with little effort, and finally get the power over men that I had always craved. I couldn't have been more wrong.
"Prostitution isn't so bad." "It's not prostitution, it's escorting!" "You get to be wined and dined, have sex and get paid! It's the easiest money you'll ever make!"
These are just some of the many lies that I've heard over and over again about prostitution and "escorting." Yes, prostitution is different in some ways compared to working in the porn industry or stripping. But no, it's not any less harmful or damaging. As someone who used to do it, and as someone that still has friends that do it, I can attest to this. Sure, you're not on camera, so it's harder to be found out by loved ones. But even if no one finds out about it, you will still be scarred emotionally, and likely mentally and physically too. You will still have to live with the unavoidable destructive consequences.
I was in that part of the sex industry called "escorting" for about two years. For most of that time, I lived with another woman that did the same thing. We both worked at strip clubs and regularly engaged in paid sex with men outside of the clubs. Out of all of the "work" that I did in the sex industry, prostitution was by far the worst. I hated every minute of it. The men were demanding and annoying, and even the "nice" ones were awful. I had one john that always talked about how much he wanted to "pleasure" me and "make me feel good." His idea of "pleasuring" me was slobbering all over me like a dog and shoving his fingers roughly into me. Yeah, not so pleasurable.
So you may have read some of my articles about working in the porn industry, or in stripping or prostitution, and have decided that none of these "careers" are for you. "But," you say, "what about being a 'camgirl' and doing webcam work? I could work alone from the comfort of my own home! How could that be bad?"
It sounds like no big deal, right? I mean, all you're doing is solo masturbation. You make your own hours, set your own rules, and you never have leave the house! What could be better? That's what I and many other women assumed when entering the webcam business, and because of these same false assumptions, lots of other women in porn have recently switched over to camming, thinking that it will be easier and safer for them.
Webcam was my main source of income for the last 2-3 years of my time in the sex industry. I got into it thinking that I would make more consistent money than I did in porn, that it would be less gross than prostitution, and that it would be easier than stripping. I mean, there's no way webcam work could have any major drawbacks, right? Wrong! Don't be fooled. Webcam work has its own set of problems, which I will now outline.
In this article I am going to focus on the topic of "hooking up." By this I mean one night stands, "friends with benefits" arrangements, and casual sex in all of its various forms. This sort of sex seems to be considered pretty harmless these days to a lot of people -- particularly young people. These people often think, "Well, it's not recorded," (most of the time, anyway), "no money is involved, and it's consenting adults. So there's no problem with it, right?" Wrong.
I write about this subject from the perspective of someone who has really lived this sort of lifestyle to the fullest. In fact, I even used to call myself a "proud slut." I had many sexual encounters over the past decade, both with men and women, all with "no strings attached." Sometimes I didn't even know their names. I thought I was a new, "empowered" form of woman, a woman that used men just like they used me. I couldn't have been more mistaken.
But yet I managed to lie to myself (and everyone around me) for years, about how my promiscuity wasn't affecting me. I thought I was "just like a guy." "I can hook up and it's no big deal! It's all in good fun! Why not? I'm empowered!"
I laughed at people that thought of sex as sacred. I looked down on them and thought of them as prudes that were stuck in the 1950's. Now I know better. I'm done lying to myself, and I've had to face some harsh and sobering realities about how my former "career" in the porn industry and my promiscuous behavior damaged me. I'm also trying to make up for the damage done by sharing what I've learned so painfully, which I hope you will be open to listening to...
I'm often skeptical when a law is proposed that will impose more regulations on businesses, and this was my mindset when I was working in the porn industry in 2012 and I first heard about the new "condoms in porn" measure for Los Angeles County. Measure B is an ordinance that was proposed to "require producers of adult films to obtain a public health permit from the County; follow all health and safety laws, including condom use; and pay a permit fee sufficient to cover all enforcement costs."*
When I look back, I realize that my real concern was that Measure B would slow down porn production, and therefore make it harder for me to "get work." Well that was over a year ago, and Measure B passed in November of 2012.
Recently a new law was proposed: Assembly Bill 332. AB 332 would impose the same requirements as Measure B throughout all of California. My first thought this time was: "This has to pass." Amazing what a difference a year can make, right?
Ever since I left porn a few months ago I've had to take a hard look at myself, my choices, and the harsh truth about the "adult" industry, and I've realized that sometimes regulations are in fact needed -- especially in an industry that has next to no regulation.
The truth is that the porn industry is ridiculously under-regulated. No other industry gets away with as little regulation as the porn industry does, and it's time for that to change. I'm not a fan of big government, but in this case the government needs to step in and protect the performers in the industry. (And the members of the public who sexually interact with them.)
The testing system works like this: Every month each performer has to go to Cutting Edge or Talent Testing to test for HIV, chlamydia and gonorrhea. There is a syphilis test administered every six months. If someone gets a clean test result, they are free to shoot for that entire month without ever re-testing. That means that a performer can test clean, catch something the next day, and continue to work and unknowingly spread it around to other performers and their off-set partners for the entire month before they test
The articles that I've written above are just the beginning of what I am going to be writing and advocating about concerning the harms of pornography, the sex industry, and related issues. I will soon be writing articles and/or doing videos about all of the topics in the below list and posting them here, as well as posting the videos at my YouTube channel or the relevant AntiPornography.org channels for each topic.
Eventually I will also be compiling most or all of my articles into two books; 1) a memoir, and 2) a book about the general harms of the sex industry and related topics. In my memoir I will be going into a lot more detail about my life growing up in an over-sexualized and pornified society, my seven years in the sex industry, and much more. (NOTE: I don't have a book deal yet, so if anyone is interested, please contact me through this site. Thanks!)
UPCOMING ARTICLE AND VIDEO TOPICS:
My Story of How I Used and Abused Alcohol, Marijuana, Cocaine and Pills
My Story of Working at the Sadomasochism/Torture Porn Studio Kink.com and Why They Are NOT an Ethical Company or the Benevolent Pornographers that They Make Themselves Out to Be
My Story of Working at the Extreme Abuse Site FacialAbuse.com and Why No One Should Ever Work for It or Their Related Sites of LatinaAbuse and GhettoGaggers
My Story of Why I Decided to Leave Porn and the Sex Industry, and How I Did It (Despite the Many Challenges I Had to Overcome to Do So!)
My Message and Advice to People Considering Leaving the Sex Industry (You can do it! It's not impossible!)
What's Wrong with Amateur Pornography and Why Most of It Is Fake and Why It's No Better Than Regular Porn
My Message to Parents: Why You Need to Talk to Your Kids About Sex (So They Don't End Up Going Into the Sex Industry Like I Did)
The Connections Between Pornography and Sex Trafficking and How the Porn Industry Normalizes, Glamorizes and Promotes Sexual Slavery and Sex Tourism of Both Women and Children
How Pornography Harms Children In Many Different Ways
What's Wrong with "Teen Porn" and How It Fuels Child Pornography, Child Abuse and Pedophilia
Choice, Consent and "Agency" in the Porn and Sex Industries, and Why They Are Mostly Illusions
How Some Corrupt Porn Companies Financially Cheated Me, and How This Happened to Many Other Performers that I Knew (No Matter How Careful We Were)
The Harmful Messages of "Fifty Shades of Grey" and Similar Pro-Sadomasochism Novels
The Difference Between Pornography and Romance Novels and Why Porn is Much Worse
Celebrity Sex Tapes of Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton and Others and Why They're Harmful
Why "Feminist Porn" is a Contradiction of Terms and Why It and Female Directed Porn Are Harmful In Many of the Same Ways Regular Porn Is
Why There is No Such Thing as "Ethical Pornography" and Why It's Harmful Just Like Regular Porn
Why Working In Other Careers Like the Fast Food Industry, Contact Sports (Wrestling, MMA), Stunt Work, Mining, etc. Is NOT As Degrading or Harmful As Working In the Sex Industry
Why More "Diversity" in Body Types, Sizes, Age, Races and Abilities Is NOT the Solution to Improving Conditions or Ending Abuse, Misogyny or Sexism in the Sex Industry
Men Who Work in the Porn Industry and How Their "Career" Is Harmful to Them and Others
Why Masturbation Is Not the Same as Porn, How It Is Possible to Do It Without Porn, and Why Doing It Compulsively or Excessively Is Harmful
Anal Sex in Porn and Why It's Different and Much More Harmful than Regular Anal Sex (Including double anal and triple anal)
The Connections Between Pornography and Prostitution and How Most Women In Porn Also Do "Escorting" with Their "Fans" and Others
Why Legalizing Prostitution Is NOT the Solution to the Severe Harms of Prostitution and Why the Nordic Model of Penalizing and Reducing MALE DEMAND, While Providing Help and Exit Services to Prostituted Individuals, IS the Solution
Why Rape Fantasies Aren't Truly Fantasies About REAL Rape and Why They Are Nonetheless Unhealthy and Harmful
Why Having a Relationship While Working In the Sex Industry Is Extremely Difficult and How a "Career" in Porn or Prostitution Harms the Ability to Give or Experience Authentic Love and Intimacy
How Porn Has Turned Into An Ever Increasing Freak Show of Unnatural Sex Acts Including "The Money Shot," Group Sex, Oversized "Sex Toys," "Fisting," "Double Penetration," "Triple Penetration" (Air Tight), Bukkake, Food Insertions and Milk Enemas, and Why These Sex Acts Are Degrading, Harmful and Unhealthy
Why Sasha Grey and her "Success" in Porn and the Mainstream Acting World Are the Exception and Why Girls and Young Women Should Not Aspire to Follow in Her Footsteps
Why Rhianna and Other Celebrities Who Go to Strip Clubs and Support and Promote the Sex Industry, BDSM and Promiscuity Are Harming Women, Girls and Themselves
Why "Teen Mom" and Others Like Her Who Do Porn Are Making a Huge Mistake that Will Harm Their Lives, Families, and Children
How Porn Fans and Prostitution Johns Don't Really Love, Value or Respect Women At All
Plastic Surgery and Beauty Practices in the Porn and Sex Industries Such as Breast Implants, Lip Injections, Botox, Waxing and Hair Extensions, and the Time, Energy and Cost of These Practices and How They Are Harmful and Don't Compensate For What Is Invested
Why Porn in Which Women Dominate Men is Harmful in Many of the Same Ways as When Women Are Being Dominated by Men
The Story of Mercedes, a Beautiful But Troubled Young Porn Performer Whose Father Murdered Her Mother In Front of Her When Mercedes Was 12 and Then Committed Suicide
Myths About Anti-Porn People and Why They're Not True (No, we're not all a bunch of ugly, man-hating, fundamentalist, anti-sex and pro-censorship virgins and prudes who just need to get laid. ;))
I will also be doing...
BOOK REVIEWS: *Pornland, *Pornified, *Big Porn Inc, *Getting Off, Not For Sale, *Against Pornography, *Making Violence Sexy, *Against Sadomasochism, Female Chauvinist Pigs, The Macho Paradox, Pornography: Driving the Demand in International Sex Trafficking, The Porn Trap, Pornography: The Production and Consumption of Inequality, *Jenna Jameson's Biography, *Ordeal, (Biography of Porn Performer Linda Lovelace, star of "Deep Throat"), Traci Lords' Biography, *I Am Jennie (Biography of Ex Porn Star Jennie Ketcham), *Girlvert (Biography of Orianna Small - AKA "Ashley Blue"), and others (*Already read)
DOCUMENTARY, FILM AND TV REVIEWS: *The Price of Pleasure, Demand (by Shared Hope), *Sexy Baby, *Adult Entertainment: Disrobing the American Idol, *After Porn Ends, Miss Representation, The Client List, and others (*Already watched)
NOTE: My opinions about how pornography and the sex industry are harmful were formed from my own experiences, and I wrote up and shared my story of why I left porn and the sex industry, and how they hurt people, before I watched any of the above documentaries or read any of the above books.
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If you'd like to stay informed about all of these articles, videos, and my upcoming books, as well as other projects that I will be working on with AntiPornography.org, such as doing outreach to educate young people and to help other performers to exit the sex industry, please feel free to do one or more of the following:
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Click picture above to order "PORNLAND" at Amazon.com now!
DESCRIPTION
Pornland: How Porn Has Hijacked Our Sexualitytakes an unflinching look at today’s porn industry: the stories woven into the images, the impact on our culture, the effects on us as men and women, the business machine that creates and markets porn, and the growing legitimacy of porn in mainstream media. Above all, PORNLAND examines the way porn shapes and limits sexual imaginations and behaviors.
Although we are surrounded by pornographic images, many people are not aware of just how cruel and violent the industry is today. PORNLANDshows how today’s porn is strikingly different from yesterday’s Playboy and Penthouse magazines — how competition in the industry and consumer desensitization have pushed porn toward hard core extremes. And, with the advent of the internet and other digital technologies, users don’t have to wander far to access porn; todaythe average age of first viewing is about 11 for boys, and studies reveal that young men, who consume more porn than ever before, have difficulty forming healthy relationships.
PORNLAND also looks at how our porn culture affects the way women and girls think about their bodies, their sexuality and their relationships. PORNLAND: How Porn has Hijacked our Sexuality argues that rather than sexually liberating or empowering us, porn offers us a plasticized, formulaic, generic version of sex that is boring, lacking in creativity and disconnected from emotion and intimacy.
CLICK PICTURES ABOVE TO ORDER "PORNLAND" AT AMAZON.COM NOW
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For more information about the documented harms of pornography please visit the extremely informative websitePornography Harms at PornHarms.com.
"Dedicated to providing the most accurate peer-reviewed research on the harm from pornography, along with relevant news and opinion."
This outstanding website comprehensively addresses the harms of pornography in regards to all of the following categories: addiction, brain science, children, cybersex, family, Internet, Internet safety, marriage, men, psychological, prostitution, relationships, research, self image, sex trafficking, sexting, sexual violence, societal, STDs, teens, and women.
Have you taken the NO-PORN PLEDGE at NoPornPledge.com yet? If not, now would be a really great time to do so! Please click here or the banner below.
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See the list of many people from all around the world who have signed the No-Porn Pledge. Click here.
Read the reasons why they have signed in the No-PornPledge Guestbook. Click here. Don't forget to join them by signing the pledge and sharing your reasons why in the guestbook there as well!
From NoPornPledge.com:
"Join a growing number of people who have made a decision to eliminate porn from their lives. Sign your name, and publicly declare that you won't use porn, or have an intimate relationship with anyone who does."
At AntiPornography.orgwe are working to prevent and combat the devastating harms of pornography, prostitution, sex trafficking and sexual slavery, as well as all other forms of sexual exploitation, through public education and advocacy. We are:
Pro-Education, Pro Safe, Healthy, Respectful, Equality-Based Sexuality
Pro-reasonable regulation of the pornography industry for the health and safety of the performers.
*Please see FAQ for more information on all of the above. Thank you!
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RESOURCES, FRIENDS, SUPPORTERS AND ALLIES:
NOTE: All those marked with * are friends, subscribers or followers of AntiPornography.org at Facebook, YouTube, Twitter, or one of our other social networking websites, or have demonstrated support for our work otherwise, such as providing content for this website or linking to us or to one of our blogs and/or social networking projects. Also please note that the below list is a work in progress and that it is not complete. Please share any errors, omissions or suggestions here. Thank you!
WOMEN AND GIRLS FOCUSED RESOURCES:
(For family, children, men and addiction focused resources, please scroll down.)
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ANTI-PORNOGRAPHY ORGANIZATIONS GROUPS AND WEBSITES:
Saavi Accountability -- The only online accountability program that works with all online addictions. It is also the only program that sends notifications instantly via text message to an accountability partner so that they can be supportive when an individual needs it the most at the point of weakness, while they are accessing the online content. The software was created by a young man (26) who overcame his addiction and is trying to help others.
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ADDICTION MESSAGE BOARDS & DISCUSSION FORUMS FOR HELP & SUPPORT:
NOTE: There are MANY anti-porn and porn addiciton discussion groups and pages at Facebook.
Just search GROUPS and PAGES for "porn addiction", "pornography addiction", "sex addiction", "anti-porn," "antiporn," "anti-pornography" & "antipornography"
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For more than 50 personal stories documenting the harms of compulsive and/or excessive pornography use and/or pornography addiction please see our "Porn Harm Stories" page. Thank you.
(Note: The No Porn Northampton FAQ is in the bottom half of their sidebar. In addition to the usual questions about pornography it addresses questions and concerns about activism against sexually oriented businesses such as "adult bookstores.")
Shared Hope International specifically focuses on fighting the demand for commercial sexual exploitaiton, including addressing pornography as a very significant demand factor for sex trafficking.
"Pornography is a marketing device for sex trafficking: It normalizes degradation and violence as acceptable and even inevitable parts of sex, and uses the bodies of real women and children as objects. The difference between pornography and erotica is clear in the roots of the words themselves -- porne means females slaves, eros means love -- so pornography, like rape, is about violence and domination, not sex. Millions of lives depend on our ability to separate pornography from erotica, and to disentangle violence from sexuality."
Gloria Steinem, 2006
For information about Gloria Steinem's important work of fighting against the harms of pornography, sex trafficking and other forms of sexual exploitation and abuse, including videos and an audio interview, please see our page on Gloria Steinem. Click here.
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For more information on how pornography fuels prostitution and sex trafficking, please see our page on Pornography and Trafficking. Click here. Thank you!
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Please remember that it is not up to AntiPornography.org, the other organizations listed on this page, the government, or "someone else" to do the entire job of fighting against the devastating harms of pornography, prostitution, trafficking, and other forms of sexual exploitation or abuse. It is an enormous job and the responsibility lies with each and every one of us to do our part as part of the bigger team of those who are choosing to be part of the solution of creating a more just and humane world for everyone, rather than be part of the problem.
So thank you in advance for whatever you are able to contribute to the cause, whether in the form of a tax-deductible donation or your actions. What you do does matter, so for the sake of all those across the world who are being exploited and abused, and for the sake of the future of humanity, please do what you can to create a more compassionate and safer society for all.
Thank you for whatever you are able to give or do to help create a better world for everyone, especially for women, children and future generations.
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THANKS FOR YOUR SUPPORT! IT'S VERY MUCH APPRECIATED AND REALLY MAKES A DIFFERENCE!
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Against the harms of pornography and prostitution, but not against people in the sex industry.
- by Vanessa Belmond 
Rape has become so common in our society that to many people it's now just another story on the news -- another headline. It happens so often to both women and men that many people have become desensitized to the pain it causes. It's not that they don't care, they just don't put much thought into it. They think something along the lines of, "Oh, that's sad," and then change the channel or click on a different news story. 
- By Vanessa Belmond
"Beautiful." "Artistic." "Different." "Sensual." These sound like descriptions of a painting in a fine art gallery, or maybe of a gourmet dish, right? Unfortunately not. These are samples of adjectives that I've heard used over the years to describe "lesbian porn," from viewers of the genre. These "fans" love to claim that female-only porn is better than the "boy-girl" variety, because they believe that it's easier on the women involved, and that it's less disrespectful. And hey, it's just two women enjoying each other, what could be more innocent and harmless? 
I have often been on set when two other woman are "working" together, and have witnessed them fighting or ignoring each other completely until the camera is turned on. It's amazing how the word "action" and the red blinking light of a camera can turn two women that hate each other into "sexy girlfriends having fun." 
Are you a woman or teen girl thinking of getting into porn? Maybe you just want to do a few movies to make some money, or you just want to "experiment." Perhaps you feel ignored by men and want to feel sexy and desired. Or maybe you've seen women like Sasha Grey, Tera Patrick or Jenna Jameson, and you want to follow in their footsteps. They seem happy, (most of the time -- at least in public), and they have money, fame, and men all around the world lusting over them. So you might say: "Sure, porn isn't for everyone, but I'm different! I can handle it. I'll use the industry, I won't let it use me. Why not?"
Now, let me start this by saying that I know men aren't the only ones who watch porn. But this article will be focusing on men, since they are the majority of porn consumers.
- by Vanessa Belmond
There is no other business that promotes racism as overtly and openly as the "adult" film business. I'm not just talking about the obvious racism in porn, such as the racist titles of many porn videos. (I.e. Big Black Sticks, Little White Chicks, Me F*ck You Long Time, etc.). It's the stuff that happens behind the scenes. I'm speaking from the perspective of a half-black, half-white woman who has been there, and as someone who was engaged to a black male porn star.
- By Vanessa Belmond 
"Prostitution isn't so bad." "It's not prostitution, it's escorting!" "You get to be wined and dined, have sex and get paid! It's the easiest money you'll ever make!" 
So you may have read some of my articles about working in the porn industry, or in stripping or prostitution, and have decided that none of these "careers" are for you. "But," you say, "what about being a 'camgirl' and doing webcam work? I could work alone from the comfort of my own home! How could that be bad?" 
In this article I am going to focus on the topic of "hooking up." By this I mean one night stands, "friends with benefits" arrangements, and casual sex in all of its various forms. This sort of sex seems to be considered pretty harmless these days to a lot of people -- particularly young people. These people often think, "Well, it's not recorded," (most of the time, anyway), "no money is involved, and it's consenting adults. So there's no problem with it, right?" Wrong. 
Please feel free to ask questions in the comments section below, and to let me know what you think of my story, writing, and videos. 
