- By Vanessa Belmond - Ex-Porn Performer, Stripper, Camgirl & "Escort"

- Anti-Porn and Anti-Prostitution Writer and Activist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Are you a woman or teen girl thinking of getting into porn? Maybe you just want to do a few movies to make some money, or you just want to "experiment." Perhaps you feel ignored by men and want to feel sexy and desired. Or maybe you've seen women like Sasha Grey, Tera Patrick or Jenna Jameson, and you want to follow in their footsteps. They seem happy, (most of the time -- at least in public), and they have money, fame, and men all around the world lusting over them. So you might say: "Sure, porn isn't for everyone, but I'm different! I can handle it. I'll use the industry, I won't let it use me. Why not?"

Well, let me tell you "why not." I have been there and done that. I've had many roommates and friends over the years, most of them female porn performers. There are so many misguided ideas that women have about the sex industry, and I want to dispel the myths and show you what being in the sex trade is really like. 

Let's start with "I'll just do it for a little while and then quit" -- the myth that young women often tell themselves. This is common with women when they enter into the strip club industry. (Check out my article on the harms of stripping for more details.) Porn is a little different, because unlike stripping, many women actually do just perform in a few scenes and then disappear from the industry after that. (And by the way, if it's so fun, "empowering," and financially rewarding, why would that scenario be so common?) But that still doesn't make doing porn a good idea. Even if you only do one scene, the damage is done. You'll spend the rest of your life hoping that boyfriends, family, friends and co-workers never see that one scene that you did, no matter how much time goes by.

And with the advent of online pornography, chances are that someone will see that scene, and chances are that they'll show it to other people. I knew one young woman that did one or two scenes for a small website. She didn't like it, and decided to continue working at her job in the mall, assuming that since it was a small website, that no one would find out. But guess what? Someone saw it. They could have seen it on the site, or they could have seen it on one of the many illegal download sites that steal scenes from pay sites. Either way, this person who saw it shared the scene with other people, and eventually everyone that she worked with or around knew that she did porn. They never treated her the same way again, and she eventually quit her job because she was so embarrassed. 

However, even if no one had ever found out about that scene, she would have still been negatively affected. She still would have carried around the same shame, guilt and regret that performing in porn inevitably brings -- even if it was "just once." I have known quite a few young women that did "just a few" porn movies, and they all regretted it. Trust me -- the relatively small amount of money that you'll make for doing a few movies is simply not worth carrying around that emotional burden -- let alone the fear of being "found out" -- for the rest of your entire life.

Now, on to the next most common reason for wanting to do porn: to feel sexy and desired by men. I know that this was one of my own biggest reasons for getting into porn. I had been largely ignored by boys all throughout school and I just wanted to know what it felt like to have men drooling over me and paying "just to see me." Well, now I know. And you know what? It actually doesn't feel that great. 

Do you really think that the men who are watching porn are thinking, "Oh, what a gorgeous woman!"? No! They're jerking off and thinking about the graphic sexual acts that they want to do to you, not about how pretty you are. This is evidenced by much of the "fan mail" that I've received throughout the years. Almost all of it was from men asking me how much I would charge to have sex with them, or telling me what they wanted to do to me sexually. It was always things like, "Mmm babe. I wish I could cum all over your face. Wish I could f*ck you. Watching you swallow all of those loads made me cum so hard..." etc. etc. It didn't make me feel sexy or desired at all. It just made me feel gross and disgusted.

It got to the point where I dreaded opening my emails because I was so tired of hearing about how I made some stranger's dick hard. In fact, when I left the business I got an email from a long-time webcam "client" and "fan." He inquired about doing a webcam show, and I politely told him that I was done with the "adult" business, and how much happier I was since leaving it.

His response? "Oh God no! One more show? Or video?" And this was from a man that claimed to be my "biggest fan." But in the end, all he could think about was how I could give him an erection and make him orgasm. I was tired of pretending, so I told him to "stop thinking about your dick for once." 

I couldn't believe how good it felt to finally tell him off, to let him know that I'm not just an object that exists to help him jerk off -- that I'm a person! That small thing empowered me so much more than performing in porn ever did, or ever could.

That day, it finally clicked for me that none of these men were really into me -- that instead they were onlu into some made-up fantasy character that helped them jerk off. The sad fact is that this is truly all that porn performers really are to their "fans." 

Even though I didn't realize it at the time, years of dealing with men like him had worn me down mentally and emotionally, and had made me feel less than human. Numb. It didn't give me the gratification that I had hoped for, not by a long shot.

But what about Sasha Grey, Jenna Jameson and Tera Patrick? What about these female "porn stars" and others like them? I don't begrudge their "success" in the porn industry and in mainstream endeavors, but they are FAR from the norm. They are literally in the top 1% of women in the  porn industry, in regards to their "achievements." The harsh truth is that you might be a really gorgeous and enthusiastic performer, but the odds are still not in your favor. Most women will never even come close to achieving the "fame" and wealth that Jenna, Tera and Sasha have. And that 'fame' is still based on them having sex for money. They will never escape the "whore" label.

Keep in mind that with these three women, they're always portrayed as porn stars or sex industry workers in the mainstream work that they get. (Or are just used as stunt casting for publicity -- in horror filmsor other types of projects, such as music videos or ad campaigns.) They'll never be considered real models or actresses, no matter how good they are or what they do. 

So if you're thinking that you can "cross over" and become a model or actress, think again. If you want to succeed in Hollywood, starting out with porn is one of the worst ways to try to do it. Just ask all of the porn performers out there trying to cross over into legitimate acting and failing miserably to do so. I've met a few, and they can't get any work that doesn't include them being naked or reduced to a sex object, because of their past in the porn industry.

What actually happens is that most women will go through a six month to three year cycle in the industry, that I describe in detail in my article on why working in porn and the sex industry is a dead-end trip to nowhere. (http://www.antipornography.org/working-in-porn-is-a-dead-end-trip-to-nowhere.html). Then 99% of women will be used up by the business and cast aside. They can try to "use the industry" all they want, but the industry always uses them instead. The amount of women I've seen try to beat those odds is countless. I have yet to see one of those women actually "use the industry" and come out on top. The industry always wins.

It's important to also realize that most porn consumers quickly get tired of seeing the same woman repeatedly in the porn that they watch, and that the porn companies know this. Many companies have a strict limit on how many times they'll hire a woman, and it will usually end up being about two to three times. So once you've shot with all of the companies, there isn't going to be much, (if any), porn work left for you. That's why you see so many porn performers, (even very well-known ones), doing webcam work, "escorting" and stripping. They simply can't get enough porn jobs to make ends meet.

So, porn seems to be big money, yet I can't think of one performer that I knew in my seven years in the industry that made enough from porn to retire completely. The rates for scenes keep dropping, due to the huge amount of competition. When I left porn, there were many women doing hardcore "boy-girl" scenes for as little as $300 - $600 per scene. If you're lucky, you'll shoot once a week after you're no longer the "new girl," which is a status that typically lasts a only a few months.

Do the math. It's not really that much money in the end, especially when you factor in the negative physical, emotional and mental effects that porn inevitably has. (More about how unsafe and unhealthy porn work is here: http://www.antipornography.org/is-porn-sex-healthy-and-safe.html)

I know some of you are reading this and thinking, "That won't be me. I'm different." I thought the same thing. I tried so hard to beat the odds, despite all of the warnings that I got from women in the business, from agents, from directors... from everyone! I wish that I would have put away my stubborn pride and listened. 

Maybe I won't get through to you, maybe I will. It is my sincere hope that I do get through to you, and that you'll see what fallacies and lies the "fame" and "wealth" are that are promoted by the porn industry. You can do something bigger and better with your life, and I really hope that you don't sell yourself short by throwing away the opportunities that you currently have by doing porn.

There's so much more out there than the dead-end world of porn. And once you've participated in it, it severely limits your options when it comes to having a truly meaningful and financially rewarding career that you can really be proud of. (And that your family and possible future children can be proud of.) Please learn from my mistakes and experiences and those of so many others, and please don't do that to yourself. You deserve so much better.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Check out our video on this topic, with ex porn star Jessie Rogers! And please don't forget to like, comment and share at YouTube. Thanks! :-)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2 Ex Porn Stars' Message to Women Considering Doing Porn:

Jessie Rogers & Vanessa Belmond Expose All

YOUTUBE VIDEO LINK: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LxICDTw1CmM

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

PLEASE HELP US TO HELP OTHERS!

Would you like to see more ex porn performers and sex trade survivors helped to transition out of the sex industry and speak out? Then please support our work to facilitate this!

Fighting porn and sexual exploitation successfully is a TEAM EFFORT and WE NEED YOUR SUPPORT.

Thanks to all who are willing to contribute and do your part by making a tax-deductible donation! We really appreciate it! :-)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Please feel free to read more of my writing about the harms of pornography, prostitution, stripping, sexual abuse and related issues, as well as my writing about own life and my seven years in the sex industry. Click HERE.

comments powered by Disqus