- By Vanessa Belmond - Ex-Porn Performer, Stripper, Camgirl & "Escort"

- Anti-Porn and Anti-Prostitution Writer, Speaker and Activist

- AntiPornography.org Volunteer

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"Doing porn is empowering for women!" I've heard this statement frequently in support of the porn industry. I understand the sentiment behind this philosophy -- after all, I used to ascribe to it. But now I know better. I'm done lying to myself, and I've had to face some harsh and sobering realities about how my former "career" and behavior damaged me. 

This article is going to focus on women, but make no mistake, being a porn performer isn't necessarily good for men either. But right now I am primarily talking to and about women.

The simple truth is this: Being in porn is NOT in any way truly empowering for women. Sure, there are a few performers that do get "empowered" in some ways, but that is about 1-5% of them. And I'm being generous with that number. The truth is, most women have nothing to show for it when the business discards them after a few years. (Or in some cases, a few months!) I've seen it over and over again.

To elaborate and be more specific, I'm now going to address some of the more common myths that I've heard about this topic throughout the years. I used to believe these myths too, until I actually got into porn! These myths concern money, fame, attention, control, sexual liberation, and the supposed glamorous lifestyle of porn, all of which I thought I would obtain in abundance with my work in the sex industry. I thought these things would fulfill me and solve all of my problems. Let's just say that's not exactly how things worked out. Read on to find out why...

MONEY: Many people say that porn empowers women because the female performers get paid more then the men. They get paid to do things that other women do for free! That sounds pretty empowering, doesn't it? Let me start by repeating the old saying, "money isn't everything." Yes, I used to laugh this off too, but it's so true! I am making dramatically less money than I did when I was in the industry, yet I am so much more content now.

Would I like to make more money? Of course! Life is much easier when you can pay your bills without a thought and buy the things that you want. But life is also much more satisfying when you aren't having unsafe, harmful and degrading sex for money. I made money in my years in the industry, yet I was never happy. I contemplated suicide, drank too much, took drugs, and was constantly searching for something to make me happy. 

If money bought happiness, than I wouldn't have encountered so many deeply depressed strippers and porn performers in my seven years in the sex industry. It was extremely rare for me to meet a woman in the industry that seemed truly happy. In fact, I can't recall ever meeting any women in the sex industry that didn't have SOME kind of major issue, whether it was drugs, a pimp, or an abusive past. (Or all three!)

Let's also remember that most women don't last long in porn. They get "shot out" -- meaning their porn work dries up once the companies have used them for every scene they can. Once you're shot out, your porn is still out there online forever. That $1000 you made for the scene you shot years ago doesn't seem like that much when you realize that the company will be making money off of that scene for years to come. 

Additionally, many performers just don't make enough to put away substantial savings, so it's not like they can retire once the porn work dries up. Even the women that have some education often stay in the sex industry, (escorting, stripping, webcam), because now that they're naked all over the internet, finding another job is next to impossible. The majority have no work history, nothing they can put on a resume, that is. This puts them at a severe disadvantage, especially in today's difficult job market. 

It has become common to put porn performer's real names on sites like IMDB, so when someone searches for their real name, guess what comes up? Yup, all of the porn videos they've done. Needless to say it can be difficult to explain that to a future employer. And if you think you can keep your real name from getting out there, good luck with that. The internet has pretty much killed any chance of doing porn secretly. "Empowering," huh?

The bottom line is that in the long run the money simply isn't worth it. 

As for getting paid to do things other women do for free... I don't encourage random hook-ups for a number of reasons. (See my article on that here: http://www.antipornography.org/whats-wrong-with-casual-sex-and-hooking-up.html) But at least those hook-ups aren't recorded and distributed on the Internet for the world to see, forever. And since when did having sex with someone you care about (for free, the horror!), turn into a bad thing? Sex with someone who cares about you as a person is so much more rewarding than any porn sex could ever be. No amount of money can top that.

FAME: Lots of young women who enter the sex industry are drawn by more than just money, however. I was one of them. I thought I would be famous. Maybe not Hollywood famous, but I thought I would have fans, get my makeup and hair done, and have tons of people telling me how beautiful I was. To a young woman with low self-esteem, this can be even more "valuable" than money. But it's not real. Those "fans" are just horny guys that jack off to you: that's it. They aren't fans because you‘re just so gorgeous or talented, they're fans because watching you have sex on camera gives them an orgasm. With fans like that, who needs "fans" at all? 

ATTENTION: When I got into porn people told me I was beautiful for the first time in my life. They made me feel like I mattered. I felt important. Ultimately, though, this was all a facade. Those people don't even talk to me anymore. When I was depressed and at my lowest points, those people weren't there for me. They just knew what to say to get me to do anything on camera -- after all, they had said the same things to so many gullible and misguided young women before me. The sad truth is that my porn "friends" weren't real friends, and my porn "fans" weren't real fans.

CONTROL: Another commonly repeated lie about the porn industry is that women are in control! They get to chose who to work for and with, and they get to set their own hours, right? Well, not exactly. The vast majority of women in porn DON'T have much control over who they work with or for. Can you turn down working for certain companies or with certain guys? Sure, but if you want to make money you can't do that very often. 

There were some guys I didn't like working with, yet I still worked with them multiple times. If I had put all of those men on my "no list" (the list of men women won't work with), it would have decreased my amount of work and therefore the amount of money I earned. It is also a fact that many porn agents will discourage women from having "no lists" at all, because it makes it harder to find work for them. So the unfortunate truth is that you really can't be overly picky when it comes to who you work with, or for. 

You can in fact set your own hours, though, which is helpful -- especially because you'll need time to go to the doctor's office frequently to deal with the various STDs and illnesses that come with working in porn...

SEXUAL LIBERATION: "I get to act out all of my sexual fantasies and get paid! It's so liberating -- it's like the perfect job!" Guess who said this? That's right -- I did! I said this (and variations of this) time and time again when I was in porn. I never wanted to be seen as a victim, and I never wanted anyone to know what was really going on in my life, so I played the part of the "sexually liberated woman." It's much easier to lie to yourself and everyone else than to come to terms with the ugly truth that you aren't in fact "liberated", in any way at all.

Having sex on camera is not liberating. Getting sick and catching STDs regularly is not liberating. There's nothing liberating or fun about the sex industry, that's just the lie that the industry sells to the public. The sex industry has twisted the definition of liberation. I mean, think about it! Doing porn is in no way a liberating experience. It wasn't like you're doing whatever sexual things you want to do, you're doing what directors, agents and fans want you to do. I should know.

I came in the industry with a firm set of "dos and don'ts". I stuck to those limits for awhile (I'm probably one of the most stubborn people you'll ever meet), but then reality kicked in. Eventually I had to give in. It became clear that if I didn't do more extreme sex acts, my porn work would slow down or stop. If I didn't do "a little extra" during my lap dances, I would never make money at the strip club. And why not do some "escorting"? Every other woman I knew was doing it, and I was having sex for money anyway... 

One by one, all of my boundaries were crossed. Did I ever tell my fans that? Of course not! As far as they knew, I started doing anal because I "wanted to try something new." If you had asked these fans, I did the most hardcore sex scenes because I "got into porn to act out all of my fantasies on camera!"

I was just a "sexual" young girl trying out all of the things she fantasized about! Right? I certainly wasn't a broken-down young woman doing what she had to do to make money in the sex industry. I wasn't a young woman whose self-worth had been completely destroyed to the point where she felt like nothing more than an object, a commodity. Noooo.. I was a "liberated," "sexually open," "party girl!"

I must admit I was pretty good at putting on this act. I even believed it myself to a point. I managed to push down all of those feelings of disgust and self-hate with drugs, alcohol and lies.

GLAMOROUS LIFESTYLE: One of the greatest lies the sex industry promotes is that working in the industry is just like being at one big long party. Who wouldn't want to go to award shows, parties and conventions? Who wouldn't want to meet porn fans at events, and tons of admirers who think you're hot and sexy? If all of these things are so glamorous and fun, than why are so, so many of the women at these conventions, award shows, and parties on drugs or drunk? There was not one porn event I attended where I or the majority of the other women were sober. The truth is that there is nothing glamorous about meeting people that are "fans" of watching you have sex on camera. Even the world-famous Jenna Jameson, considered by many to be the ultimate porn star, said this in her biography (when she attended a premiere for a Hollywood movie):

"I had come to believe I was a star... I realized I was nothing... I had sex on screen, I did some perfunctory acting... All I did was contribute to Kleenex sales."

http://www.antipornography.org/Jenna_Jamesons_25_Reasons.html

Even Jenna, who does not identify as anti-porn, admits this. Porn "stardom" is not any kind of stardom at all. Jenna was one of the "lucky" few that made a huge amount of money and is said to have millions of fans. She even did some mainstream work (always playing the part of a stripper, random naked girl, prostitute or porn performer -- what a stretch!). Yet she will still always be known primarily as a porn performer, someone who had sex for money on camera. Being famous is not always a good thing. Parties, getting your hair and makeup done, fans that use you as a tool for masturbation... it's just not worth it. It's not freeing, liberating or empowering. It's just pathetic and depressing.

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WHAT HAPPENS AFTER PORN: Even if you become the most straight-arrow person after doing porn, as mentioned above, people will always look at you as a porn performer first, and anything else second. No matter how open-minded those people are, the "porn star" label will never be completely gone.

Our society is strange in the way that it tends to promote overtly sexual behavior on one end, and still condemn people in the sex industry on the other. So as a former porn performer, your choice is to either deal with people looking at you through the "porn filter," or to lie to them and hope that they never find out about your past. 

You can say that you don't care about the opinions of others all you want, but when you're trying to get a job, the "I don't care" attitude won't matter. Your work history and past will. And when you're on a date with a great guy, the "I don't care" attitude won't do much, but the heartbreak of being rejected because of your past will. It's the sad truth. But porn is really "empowering," right?

The truth is that what's really empowering is respecting your body and who you share it with sexually. I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with sex at all. Sex is a beautiful thing, and should be shared with someone who cares for you, and someone who you care for in return. You deserve to be with someone who knows and respects you as a full human being, not someone who is just being paid to have sex with you for other guys to jerk off to, who then forgets about you ten minutes after he's had his orgasm.

I share my own story and experiences out of love, not judgment. And I sincerely hope that anyone reading this carefully considers what I've written, if they're ever seriously thinking of getting into porn, stripping or prostitution.

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Please feel free to read more of my writing about my life and my seven years in the sex industry, as well as my writing about the overall harms of pornography, prostitution, stripping, sexual abuse and related issues. Click HERE.